The Name Game

Come on, everybody
I say let's play a game
I betcha I can find some crimes
Marked by peoples' names!

If you identify a victim
Then all you have to do
Is spot the perpertrator's name
Within a subtle clue.

Okay, let's do Tom!

Tom, Tom, bo-bom
Bonana-fana fo-fom
Fee-fi-mo-mom
Tooom!

He got left in the orphanage
When he was just a laddie
So once he learned the A.K. Curse
He went and killed his daddy!

The killer's name you know is 'Tom'
So it should come as no surprise
The man who's got the same name
Met an untimely demise.

Let's do Barty!

Barty, Barty, bo-arty
Bonana-fana fo-farty
Fee-fi-mo-marty
Baaaarty!

Dad sent him off to Azkaban
And watched his mother whimper
So when Barty Junior broke away
He really lost his temper.

For Barty Sr., named the same
There was no way to atone
And in case you missed the parallel
His flesh was turned to bone.

Let's do Slughorn!

Slughorn, Slughorn, bo-blughorn
Bonana-fana fo-flughorn
Fee-fi-mo-mughorn
Sluuuughorn!

When Ron was on the Quidditch pitch
He wasn't belching bugs
Instead there was a hidden clue
Coughed up with all the slugs.

Horace Slughorn meant no harm
When seeing to Ron's need
But still he was the one who poured
The glass of poisoned mead.

Let's do Kreacher!

Kreacher, Kreacher, bo-breacher
Bonana-fana fo-feacher
Fee-fi-mo-meacher
Kreeeacher!

Kreacher loathed poor Sirius,
'Twas mama Black whom he adored,
Now read: "Creature-Induced Injuries
"Dangeorous Dai Llewellyn Ward

"Serious Bites." It's about the elf
How does he feel? Why, furious!
Read along the left-hand side:
"Kreacher dangerous. Die, Sirius." *

Let's do Draco!

Draco, Draco, bo-braco,
Bonana-fana fo-fraco,
Fee-fi-mo-maco,
Draaaaco!

"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus,"
It's the motto of the school
And Hogwarts is young Draco's victim
In accordance with our rule.

The Dark Lord's servants ravaged there,
Thanks to a path that Draco found
Dragons mark Rosmerta, too,
They're all over her dressing gown.

Let's do Peter!

Peter, Peter, bo-beter,
Bonana-fana fo-feter,
Fee-fi-mo-meter,
Peeeter!

With Percy's unexpected change
We should've smelled a rat
But the hints of an imposter
Came much earlier than that.

"Peter Weasley," Draco named him
Percy's future was foretold
Replaced by Peter Pettigrew
His beloved pet of old.

Let's do Greyback!

Greyback, Greyback, bo-breyback
Bonana-fana fo-freyback
Fee-fi-mo-meyback
Greeeyback!

Lupin got a fateful bite
Now look at him today:
"Though quite young" he bears the mark:
His hair is "flecked with grey."

"Dark shadows" lie beneath his eyes
He frequently looks ill
Another victim shows these signs
And no, I don't mean Bill.

The Dark Mark is a lofty honor
But Lucius earned the Dark Lord's spite
Draco could have threatened Borgin
Showing off his werewolf bite.

By Christmas he was looking ill
Dark shadows lay beneath his eyes
Fenrir Greyback, a "family friend"?
That's just one of many lies.

The werewolf on the Tower
Made Draco want to cringe
His name appears on Draco's skin:
"A distinctly greyish tinge".

Let's do Arnold!

Arnold, Arnold, bo-barnold
Bonana-fana fo-farnold
Fee-fi-mo-marnold
Aaaarnold!

In Egypt did Ron Weasley pose
With a pet who meant much harm
Scabbers sat upon his shoulder
Ginny stood beneath his arm

Now look to Ginny's shoulders
Where Arnold rides along
He looks so sweet and innocent
But something here is wrong.

"P.P." were the rat's initials
Once you knew his name
"Arnold" is a Pygmy Puff--
The initials are the same.

Crookshanks is a clever cat
He saw the rat's disguise
And now he watches Arnold
With those same suspicious eyes.

By contrast we should not forget
When Pigwidgeon was tested:
Crookshanks gave the owl a sniff
Then left him unmolested.

The Pygmy Puffs inside their cage
Made a high-pitched squeaking riot
But now that Arnold's found his place
He's suddenly gone quiet.

The Twins are very watchful
They see everything you take
But to leave behind a Pygmy Puff?
That's a piece of cake.

An Animagus? Polyjuice?
Or could it be a spell?
Transfiguring a human
Just doesn't work that well.

Arnold's not a Death Eater--
Don't forget our game!
The key to his identity
Is hidden in the name.

When Moody fought his dustbins
Rita Skeeter made this claim:
The Ministry was embarrassed
And "Arnold Weasley" was to blame.

So Arthur was the victim
Of this Pygmy Puff who's fake
It's an incident we witnessed
Through The Eye of the Snake.

Among the Dark Lord's servants
Whom does he trust the most?
Who else speaks his language?
Who can be his spirit host?

The mission is quite tricky
The assignment will be rough
The choice to spy on Harry:
Nagini the Pygmy Puff!

* Thanks to Godric's Hallow (Jordan) for pointing this one out, from Mugglenet Death Clues 5.

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